I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Randomize
