i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
