i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Randomize
