im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Randomize
