Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Randomize
