You really coming over, don't trick.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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