Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I'm bleeding and have questions
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
