She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
