No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
