Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Randomize
