One girl and one boy is just not enough.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
What drink are we having for lunch?
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I could fuck to npr.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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