I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
It's never too late to be topless.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
