ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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