Ambien. No doubt about it.
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Randomize
