I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
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