she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
