Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
