what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
