I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
