Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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