U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I just found a bag of teeth...
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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