i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
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