Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
