i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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