i wish peter jackson would direct porn
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
