I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
How's work?
Spinning.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
