the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
