Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
When did angry sex become our thing?
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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