I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
