Non-Jews are for practice
Just cropdusted the office
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
Randomize
