i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
