I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
