i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
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