yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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