i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Randomize
