brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
