we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Randomize
