And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
