I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize
