Betty ford says i'm here all night
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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