So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
