I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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