I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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