So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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