I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
