I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Randomize
