I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
