Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
