me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
false alarm, still single
Randomize
