OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
