so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Randomize
